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29 January 2019 @ 06:51 am
The mask  
Autistic woman tries to pass for “normal” [I told you I was sick]
Elenbarathi: Abandon hopeelenbarathi on January 29th, 2019 08:07 pm (UTC)
This. But, on the other hand: no.

If one cannot pass, one cannot, and there it is. One must accept one's marginalized status, and be grateful if one is not tortured to death for it, as so many are.

If one can pass sometimes, in some situations, but not always, one had best avoid the non-passing situations as much as possible, and work hard on learning better passing skills.

If one can pass in almost all situations, or with 'plausible deniability' when one can't, one had best keep one's mouth shut about the fact that one is having to pass at all.

Yes, yes, I know; the desire to be seen as one's true self is very compelling. But the reason one has to pass in the first place is because one's true self would not be accepted. And, seriously, that very desire is probably a characteristically autie thing, because the neurotypical folk don't really seem to have it. In my observation, they're all about the masks; in fact, for many of them, their entire goal in life seems to be being perceived as that which they are not. Certainly they don't commonly appear eager to have their deficits and difficulties made public. Possibly one reason they're so weirded out by us is that we're way too forthcoming, and expect others to be so as well.

I say, keep invisible disabilities invisible, because the alternative to doing so is, invariably, stigma - whether one is believed or not.

Edited at 2019-01-29 08:08 pm (UTC)