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20 December 2016 @ 07:09 am
Not a date rape song  
The real “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

Thanx to andrewducker
Marissa Lingenmrissa on December 20th, 2016 02:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, no, and also fuck no.

Because you know what else happened in the good old days of faking drunk to allow for sexual agency denied you by the patriarchy?


And drinks actually got spiked, so that people who did not intend to be drunk got drunk. And then got raped.

Also back in the good old days: good girls were supposed to say no in a way that meant yes. SO PEOPLE WHO MEANT NO HAD NO UNTAINTED WAY TO SAY IT.

So really, you can come up with some scenario in which this song is not rape. But you can't really come up with a scenario in which it is not extremely problematic. And for my money? You can't come up with a scenario in which we know.

That's what deliberately muddying consent does to us. So let me be clear on "Baby, It's Cold Outside": STILL NO. Not the no that means yes. JUST NO.
amaebiamaebi on December 20th, 2016 03:19 pm (UTC)
Elenbarathi: Abandon hopeelenbarathi on December 21st, 2016 03:56 am (UTC)
Well, how interesting. Just last weekend, my friend sang this at her Christmas party, and I doubt very much if anyone took it amiss. At 59, I was the youngest person at the party , though still old enough to remember the customs that prevailed back in the day.

Of course there was a clear and untainted way to say No: don't drink alone with a man; don't go to his place, or entertain him at yours unchaperoned. Good girls were supposed to say No in ways that meant No until their wedding nights - that was the definition of a 'good girl'. Bad girls were those who were reputed to have said Yes before marriage, regardless of whether or not they'd actually had sex.

The girl in the song clearly aims to misbehave, but she wants to keep her reputation as a 'good girl', so the only way she can say Yes is to say No in a transparently insincere way.

Interesting to compare the song Wake Up Little Susie, which was written just eight years later.

There's an article on Vox about this: Why "Baby, It's Cold Outside" became an annual controversy about date rape and consent. Seems like a tempest in a teapot to me, but I guess people are getting bored with the Trumpocalypse.

Edited at 2016-12-21 04:04 am (UTC)