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Marissa Lingen: grandpamrissa on August 20th, 2016 12:44 pm (UTC)
My grandfather would occasionally say to my grandmother, "Now, don't be cranky, Beverly."

This never failed to make her cranky. Never once. He was otherwise a very intelligent man, I cannot fathom why the correlation never struck him. But his entire married life, if she started to get frustrated with something, "Now, don't be cranky, Beverly," kept striking him as a reasonable thing to say.

Primates, I tell you what.
browngirl on August 21st, 2016 07:18 am (UTC)
Maybe he liked her cranky? Not in a mean way, even, he just enjoyed watching her wave her arms and rant or whatever she did when cranky? Like Jim Kirk and Bones McCoy?

(Which is not a justification, just my curiosity.)
Marissa Lingen: new gma picmrissa on August 21st, 2016 12:10 pm (UTC)
Heh. When it was aimed at someone other than himself that was entirely possible, now that you mention it.
Johnjohnpalmer on August 24th, 2016 04:23 pm (UTC)
It's been my experience that family (especially) finds buttons and keeps pushing them, without really thinking. It's not meanness or stupidity (necessarily - sometimes it's either or both!), it's just a pattern. The thought process might well be "here's where she gets cranky, I better warn her *extra* carefully this time!" and she might well be thinking "Okay, take a deep breath, let all this go, I just hope he doesn't say...".

This is why some counselors will (except in cases of abuse) ask everyone to evaluate their part in things - not to blame everyone, but to enlist everyone in breaking patterns that have become unhelpful.
Deldel_c on August 21st, 2016 11:39 pm (UTC)
He also mentioned that people with anxiety disorders should probably just chill out.

I have the third member of the trinity, fatigue disorder, and I have to say my employers have been pretty good about it. I wish I could say family, friends, and fandom have never advised me to "just put your back into it", "get up and make a start", or "shake a leg".