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09 November 2013 @ 06:25 am
Mandatory fun  
Drinkups are rape culture.

Thanx to Geek Feminism.

ETA: bart-calendar makes a good point. What we have is an aggression culture, where repeated boundary testing is valorized as manly behavior. Date rape, drinkups, and Richie Incognito trying to get Jonathan Martin to "man up" are all examples of it.
bart_calendarbart_calendar on November 9th, 2013 11:56 am (UTC)
Unless her theater major friends were trying to fuck her that drinkups is rape culture thing is pure bullshit.

It's drunk culture. By calling it rape culture the writer is contributing to minimizing the impact of the word "rape."
El Coyote Gordo: actualsupergee on November 9th, 2013 01:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you. As you see, I've amended the post.
Avram Grumer: Post-It Portraitagrumer on November 10th, 2013 07:54 pm (UTC)
I’m not seeing the part of the essay that’s got bart_calendar upset. To me, it looks like the bit at the beginning about her theater friends is a parallel with the main point, or background explaining how she got to her current position, and not the main point itself.

Are you assuming that “drinkups” is a generic term for any time a group of people drink together? I’m pretty sure it’s a specific type of social gathering in tech industry circles.

On the other hand, this promotion for some GitHub drinkups on the West Coast from a few months ago specifically mentions “alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks”. Could be that BetsyTheMuffin’s just got a lot of toxic assholes in her social group.
bart_calendarbart_calendar on November 10th, 2013 10:36 pm (UTC)
My main thought is that she simply has douchebags in her social group - but being peer pressuring dickweeds is not the same as "rape culture."

When I was 29 I got hired by a tech company to be their content editor. After I started the job I got told that on every Friday it was "Beer Friday" and I had to drink at least five beers with the writing staff I supervised - even though I had to drive 45 miles home afterwards (and my staff for the most part could just take path trains home.)

That was tech industry bullshit peer pressuring me and career pressuring me to become a drunken driver. But.... it was not rape culture.
Avram Grumer: Post-It Portraitagrumer on November 11th, 2013 06:18 am (UTC)
Did you talk to any women who worked there? (Were there any?) It wouldn’t surprise me a bit to hear “aw, c’mon, he’s just flirting” come out of the same mouth as “aw, c’mon, it’s just a drink”.
Kalimackalimac on November 10th, 2013 04:56 pm (UTC)
"in that context the only reasons a person would ask for a weak drink would be shyness or coyness or disliking the taste of alcohol."

My own experience among those who assumed that everyone either secretly or not so secretly wished to get stinking drunk - fortunately a minority of people - was that even these wouldn't be accepted as excuses: only a raging puritan self-denial could account for it. (Parallels with men who assume that any lack of positive response to their sexual aggression has a similar cause.) If told, "I dislike the taste of alcohol," they'd respond, "So what? Coors is swill! But it makes you drunk, so I drink it."

Edited at 2013-11-10 04:57 pm (UTC)
El Coyote Gordo: coy1supergee on November 10th, 2013 05:21 pm (UTC)
Alcohol, sodomy, and action-adventure fiction all get so much moral criticism that it sometimes hard for those who indulge to imagine anyone refraining out of pure hedonism.