One of the posts that inspired me to laugh derisively at Rod Bigg or whatever his name is and his unconvincing textual transvestism came from triciasullivan, and I point you to it because it has much else of interest to say. As a malefan, I hate being part of a culture that does the sort of thing she is talking about. I think men in all the fandoms and geek cultures should sign on to something like this:
We like women. We want women at our consWe want cons that women will attend and enjoy, so we want them to be safe and comfortable at them. Therefore, we do not accept groping, PUA aggressions, treating a costume as an invitation, and other such behavior at our gatherings. We want women in our online discussions, so we do not accept threats of rape or other violence in those venues. We want to read about women, much more than we want to read about men's fantasies about women. Therefore, we want more women being published, and we want the men who write about women to employ means of doing the job better, such as submitting the writing to actual women and listening to what they say.