September 17th, 2016


The law is a baby’s ass

Geographically, Arizona is on the ass end Southern edge of the United States, but it doesn’t have that land of cotton/Sahara of the Bozarts image. So they’re trying to make up for it with public figures like Gov. Jan Brewer (“We have did what was right for Arizona.”) and Sheriff Joe Arpaio (still on the wrong side of the bars). Now they have outlawed changing diapers.

Camp pain

Hillary Clinton is a “freakishly unpopular front-runner”, perhaps because she can utter a declarative sentence without apologizing three times, even though she is female. Fortunately, she is running against Donald Deplorable, with cameo appearances by Gary’s Johnson (who is not sure what Aleppo is) and Dr. Feelbad (who won’t know what to do if they invent a vaccine against chemtrails).

Meanwhile, The Times may be giving up trying to triangulate between the candidate who says that 2+2 is approximately 4 and the one who says it’s 27, or maybe purple. Yesterday, they said in so many words, “Donald J. Trump officially retreated from the “birther” conspiracy theory he had clung to for years, while falsely accusing Hillary Clinton’s campaign of first raising doubts.”